My Heart, My Soul

 

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Im changing. Ur changing .Everythings changing.

Heh well I realise after some thoughts today tat im constantly changing especially this few days.I realise and finally found out the main reason as to why ive become wat i am today.The good side of evil.Well its coz of self-control , self-motivating and finally Faith.And so i ask myself ....why faith has got anything to do with it?

Well the reason behind being wat i am today is because of the faith in my own religion which is islam and this taught me the truth between the right and the wrong . Things which everyone can differentiate but only the Faithful one does the right thing... to prevent the wrong and do more right.Well some of u may think that i am babbling nonsense but well im not and im in the right state of mind.

The reason why i am talking abt all this is tat ive realise why some times i have bad thoughts in mind but i controlled myself and its not because i lack the nuts to do it but because i have enuf guts to prevent myself from doing the wrong things.Tats why im always on the good side of things except for certain times when i was in control of the devil. Thats where things get messy heh.Well now ive regretted not understanding myself until today..Well after talking to some1 for the past few days ... i realise tat i shd change for better and yet still try my best to be myself.

Heh certain times when i trained myself i discover new things abt myself and how i trained myself to be more of a fighter w/o knowing it and for wat reason is still unknow as all i know is tat mayb its for self defence heh. Well bewarned coz im not trained in silat, taek kwan do or watsoever and everything i learned is from watching the real fighters do it heh.

One thing i really dun wanna know is to follow ppl and become posers or watsoever... cant say i hate them coz they just want attention *in a wrong way.Well one of my frens said he is into fashion with piercing and all looking more like a punk ... well i find those things not my type and i prefer to be myself and enjoy myself wherever i am. Well ppl call me like a mat because i love wearing business pants but i nvr tappered those pants mind u heh. I just love them coz they are soft and the pocket are bigger than jeans in which is hard to squeeze things into the pocket heh. mind u i am nvr and will nvr be a mat heh.

Recently i also found out that im selfish...always wanting things from my parents and although i usually get them by trying my best in exams compared to my siblings who can get them easily just by asking ... Oh my.... thats jealousy taking over me... pardon me heh.And so ive got Ps1 due to my Psle results.heh though hp and bicycle is bought by own money heh. but ive nvr regret. And recently dad promised to buy me a laptop if i get a good result in O'lvl and well i did meet his expectation and i deserve to get one but however i dun really wish for one as i realise tat my family is not rich compared to some of my frens and yet we are happy coz we always have enuf and now i dun really in need of a laptop . mayb in the future but for now i rather my dad keeps his money and renovate the house as wer lacking a bit and i really dun mind if he uses my money first coz as long as my family's happy im happy. Ill try my best to earn wat i want from now on and not be too dependant on my parent and Tat my fren is the promisee made by PeaceZ and thus be kept from now till the end of PeaceZ.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home