Speechless.

Its been ahwhile, not really, its been a very long time since i came here. i once thot that i have finally found the reason to never come back here to open up my heart. But was i so wrong.

I finally lost my one true love and also the only one i would open up my heart to. The one i would really die for and now its totally gone. The pain is really overwhelming. I am deem totally helpless. Why is this happening to me? What have i done to deserve this pain?

Losing you is like losing every part of me. I dun wish to live on anymore... I have lost my only motivation my only reason of moving on.

After god knows how many years, finally tears flow down my eyes like there is no tml. A call from ahmad was all it took for myself to breakdown. Though sadly i cldnt talk thru the phone.

Ya Allah mengapa harus hamba mu yang lemah ini rase kepahitan dah kepedihan ini semua. Setelah 2 1/2 tahun, haruskan ia hilang begitu saje? Where is all the memories, the tears and joy and all of those things we did together? Does this means nothing to you?

My dream of marrying you and living together for the rest of my lyfe is all shattered.. i doubt after this ill be able to have faith in love anymore... Maybe i shd just build a wall around me and hide and cower in there and die alone for thats all i am... ALONE. I kinda left my frens for you coz you were the impt one but i guess i was wrong.

Im just speechless.