RANTING MY HEART OUT ONCE AGAIN.

Hmm is that what everybody things?
Is that what everybody wants?

I seriously do not know.

If you people think i know everything.... You are SO WRONG.
If you think i need to know everything.... You are SO WRONG
If you think i want to know evertthing.... You are DEAD WRONG.

You peeps think i really bother to know and care about all this? no i dun my dears.
I dun want to either. but its in me. Its in me that im capable of reading people.
And also its in me that i tend to know what happen. And also somehow i just know.
What am i to do? ignore and dun bother? and be a hypocrite?
This sense in me is GIFT and its also a CURSE
For i tend to know things that i dun have to know
And also things that HURTS me if i knew.

If you guys had wanted it, i would gladly give it away if its a THING.
But it aint. and what am i to do that i already have it?
IF you people want me to backoff... I shall and i will.
The only reason i hadnt done this yet is because...
I cared for every single one of you and i love you guys
And im afraid. yes im BLOODY afraid that shd i back off, you peeps wun have anyone
fall back on.... but what am i to do....

If that is what you people want then i shall
Im not god that i know everything
because i dun, i just know a lot of stuff.
HOW I WISH YOU GUYS KNEW HOW PAINFUL IT IS
TO KNOW WHAT U DUN WANT TO KNOW.
HOW IT FEELS LIKE TO HIDE AND PUSH EVERTHING AWAY
AND LET NOTHING AFFECT MY EVERYDAY LYFE.

But its alrite. no one is at fault.
Words may hurt. but to me words are words.
But im disappointed. i surely am.

And yes my worst fear is and will always be....
The fact that shd you guys fall..and i knew why but i dun bother and u fall further.
Without anyone there to help you up.

Frens...
How i wish you guys understand my pain
How i wish you guys feel my fear
How i wish you guys know what im doing

I never wanted myself to be this way.
I never wanted myself to have this sense.
I wish you knew how i was back then
Who i used to be, Who i was back then

How painful it was everytime i reminisce my past.
How hurt i became everytime i tried to forget it
However i stayed strong despite all that just for you.
Just for each and every single one of you.

Hah, me and my lyfe....
I just tend to rant it out so much
But there are still soo much inside
I dun wish to wear no mask

Why you ask?
Because i dun wish to lie.
I dun wish for to put up an act.
I may hide my true feelings but still
I show my true self. no more a mask

A mask to me is just pure acting
Why shd i act when i can show ppl who i really am?
How can i break other ppl's mask if i myself wears one?
Contradicting wun it be?

Frens....
I just wish you would appreciate me for who i am
NOT who you want me to be.
For i can be that very guy but its just not me.
Its who YOU want me to be.

But for now i shall lay low.
I dun understand things that have been going around
By watching it already hurts me enough
I wun go around caring so much anymore
I shall back down for now, im sorry.

And as for YOU.
Thanks for listening to my crap.
Thanks for helping me push on
Thanks for giving me the assurance.
Thanks for everything.

And i wish you would smile on...


And for my old fren.
Its sad you CANT forget what has happen
But please do not forget you were what kinda caused it.
If u dun wish to i shall not force you.
But with it in mind i can assure you
The barrier shall forever exist as long as the incident is not forgotten.

Thanks for your reply towards what i said.
And for your info my fren,
The reason i said it recently was....
I dun have the heart to say it beforehand

Reason being...
I dun want to remind you of me.
I dun wish that you get all upset again
I left you alone hoping you can forget me.
I purposely gave you time even though i longed wanted to write that.

I wish you to be happy in ur current lyfe.
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This has been in my mind for quite some time.

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