Blame it on me.

I know im imperfect
I know im full of flaws
I know i lack many things
But ill never stop loving myself.

Forgive me for all that i have done
Be it big small medium or huge
For all i know
I tried my best to be better

Seandai benar aku tidak cukup sifat
Tegurlah diriku.
Seandai aku telah melakukan terbaik
Pujilah diriku.
Seandai aku telah berdosa,
Maafilah aku.
Dan seandai bila aku sudah tiada
Do'a kan lar diriku.

----------------------------------
Parts of what im able to rewrite again.. hopefully slowly itll come back soon.

someone sent me this message i thought i sud share it wiv d brotherz n
sistaz in dis forum! Inshallah it is useful

The Ummah of today have abandoned salah but if we knew what it was worth we
would never miss another prayer again, not for any wedding or party. I never
used to pray but after I read this I regretted every salaat I ever missed.

Ka'b(R.A.) says that he saw in the Taurat that Allah Ta'ala said to
Musa(a.s.):
'O Musa! For the two rakaats of Fajr prayer that Ummah of Muhammad (s.a.w)
will perform, We will forgive all their sins of the whole day and night and
enter them into the fort of Our security.

O Musa! For each of the four rakaats of Zuhr, which the Ummah of Muhammad
perform, the reward is seperate. For the first kaat, the reward is
forgiveness of sins, for the second rakaat, the reward is that his good
deeds will be made heavy on the Day of Judgment, fot the third rakaat, the
reward is the angels making Du'a for their forgiveness and asking, My mercy
for them; for the fourth rakaat, the reward is the opening of the doors of
Heaven and the damsels of Paradise looking at them.

O Musa, when Our last Prophet and his Ummah will pray the four rakaats of
Asr salat, there will be no angel on earth and heaven who will not pray for
their forgiveness. And we will not punish those for whom the angels pray for
forgiveness.

O Musa, when Our last Prophet's Ummah will pray the three rakats at the time
of Maghirib, then the doors of the heavens will be opened, and We will
fulfill whatever they will ask.

O Musa, the four rakaats of Isha are better than all the earth's kingdom and
wealth. After performing this salat, they will be as
purified of their sins, as a new born baby.'

Now you read this I hope inshallah you never miss another salaat. To help
other brothers n sisters plz copy n paste this message on to all the people
on your contact list.

Wassalaam.

Ke sejadah dahimu di cecahkan

Bersihkan lah dirimu sebelum kamu dimandikan
Berwudhu'lah kamu sebelum
kamu diwudhu'kan
Dan solatlah kamu sebelum kamu disolatkan

Tutuplah 'auratmu sebelum 'auratmu ditutupi
Dengan kain kafan
yang serba putih
Pada waktu itu tidak guna lagi bersedih

Walaupun orang yang hadir itu merintih
Selepas itu kamu akan
diletak di atas lantai
Lalu dilaksanakanlah solat Jenazah
Dengan
empat kali takbir dan satu salam
Berserta Fatihah, Selawat dan
doa
Sebagai memenuhi tuntutan Fardhu Kifayah

Tapi
apakah empat kali takbir itu dapat menebus
Segala dosa meninggalkan
solat sepanjang hidup?
Apakah solat Jenazah yang tanpa rukuk dan
sujud
Dapat membayar hutang rukuk dan sujudmu yang telah luput?
Sungguh tertipulah dirimu jika beranggapan demikian

Justeru
kumenyeru sekelian Muslimin dan Muslimat
Usunglah dirimu ke tikar
solat
Sebelum kamu diusung ke liang lahad
Menjadi makanan cacing
dan ulat

Iringilah dirimu ke masjid
Sebelum kamu
diiringi ke Pusara
Tangisilah dosa-dosamu setiap detik
Kerana
tangisan tidak berguna bila sudah parah

Sucikanlah dirimu
sebelum kamu disucikan
Sedarlah kamu sebelum kamu disedarkan

Dengan panggilan 'Izrail yang menakutkan
Berimanlah kamu sebelum kamu
ditalkinkan

Kerana ianya berguna untuk yang tinggal

Bukan yang sudah meninggal
Beristighfarlah kamu sebelum kamu
diistighfarkan
Namun ketika itu istighfar tidak menyelamatkan

Ingatlah di mana saja kamu berada
Kamu tetap memijak bumi
Tuhan
Serta menikmati rezeki Tuhan
Justeru bila Dia menyeru,
sambutlah seruan-Nya
Sebelum Dia memanggilmu buat kali yang
terakhirnya

Ingatlah kamu dahulu hanya setitis air yang tidak
bererti
Lalu menjadi segumpal darah
Lalu menjadi seketul
daging
Lalu daging itu membaluti tulang
Lalu jadilah kamu insan
yang mempunyai erti

Ingatlah asal usulmu yang tidak bernilai
itu
Yang kalau jatuh ke tanah
Ayam tak ingin patok itik pun tak
sudi
Namun Allah mengangkatmu ke suatu mercu
Yang lebih agung
dari malaikat
Lahirmu bukan untuk dunia semata
Tapi gunakanlah
ia buat melayar bahtera akhirat

Sambutlah seruan 'Hayya 'alas
Solaah'
Dengan penuh rela dan bersedia
Sambutlah seruan 'Hayya
'alal Falaah'
Jalan kemenangan akhirat dan dunia


Ingatlah yang kekal ialah amalan
Menjadi bekal sepanjang jalan

Menjadi teman di perjalanan
Guna kembali ke pangkuan Tuhan

Pada hari itu tiada berguna :
tahta dan harta
isteri
dan putra
kad kredit dan kereta
kondominium dan niaga

Salam

In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate.

heylo bloggy. I dun really know why im alternating between a random journal and this blog but i guess its okae coz both aint meant to be read by anyone anyway.

Anyway i had just finished watching a show called "Front of the class". The story is regarding a man born with a Taurette disease which means he would randomly blurt out a sound every few minutes or so without the power to stop himself.

The show actually taught me many things. One of them would be to never let yourself lose to this kind of sickness or flaws. It is afterall just another test from Him. Even if all teacher fails to educate you to be yourself or chaste after your dream. You can always learnt from yourself that it is you who controls things and it is you who can and who will do it.

With enough patience and support even the hardest dreams can be reach.

Never let any flaws or disability bring you down or stop you from getting what you want. Its just afterall another test for us. (Learnt from the story "Front of the Class")

So what i am trying to say here is that everyone of us aint perfect which would mean that we have many flaws in each and everyone of us. Like for example would be me. I have a lot of flaws in myself which would include not being handsome, short and very lame.

But i would never let that stop me from chasing my dream. All of those is given to me by HIM and i should gladly accept the challenge to go forward and fight on. I may not be handsome like some other people but i love myself nevertheless and if given the wish to be someone else, I would still pick to be myself for there is no other like me :)

I am a PES E in NS but i would never let that stop me either. I was born with problems in my heart in which according to the specialist my heart gave out an extra sound and its incurable though they did say that the sound has reduce significantly and requires instrument to hear it. And without any choice, i was given an E as they kinda see any problems to do with heart as serious and so i just have to accept them. If given the choice i would rather fight with the rest and i very much would like to be a policeman but as fate decides that is not my destiny.

Even though this heart problem of mine has never given me any problems at all, people still view me as not healthy.I had never view this as something that would pull me down because to me it doesnt. I can play soccer, run and do everything well. But since its a gift from GOD ill just accept my fate and try for something else.

Lesson learnt here. Always be yourself and fight for every dream.

Ya Allah! Ampuni lar aku!

Sedang kan melayari website tagged, aku terserempak akan seorang gadis yang hanya berumur 19 tahun ini.

Aku melihat profilenya dan mendapati bahawa kelalaian aku selama ini.

Hmm cant really do this in malay haha.

As i was watching her profile, i read and stumble upon something which awaken me from my deep slumber... What have i done for this 22 years of my lyfe? Have i not realise the sins i have been thru? Have i not realise the very mistake of my lyfe? Why have i not been happy all this while? Was it because i was lonely? No yusri no.... It was because i had forgotten abt HIM. Ya Allah, maafkan lah aku.

I only remembered him when i was down, when i was in need when i had lost everything, And yet when i was at the top of the world in which He fated me to, i forgot abt him. All i could say was i was only human which was the very mistakes of everyone. HE created us as humans to remember him that HE is the one who created everyone of us...

Being emo after u left me... thats all i could ever think of... But was i so wrong to go into a search for a new other when all i had to do was to come back to HIM.

Dear Yusri, (Gona bring my dignity down)
Have u no shame? Have u not realize what have u been doing all this while?A 18+ year old has had the heart and mind to realize that the right path is with HIM but you who is 22 years had totally forgotten him? Have you not realize that HE is the one to bring you happiness and fate? Repent Yus, before its too late. Your hand,eyes, nose mouth,ears and skin are the very witness to all your sins? Do not procrastinate please, you are already or almost at the half age of your lyfe (if He Wills me to live long).

Ya Allah, bantuilah aku kembali ke pangkal jalan yang benar. Amin...

The poem that brought me back to reality:
O single Muslim!

-By UmmGhareebah

O single Muslim!
How chaste are you!
While others engage in haraam and fulfill their desires,
You shun the many calls to sin,
For fear of the hellfire!

O single Muslim!
How modest are you!
While others are 'alone',
They loose their fear of Allah,
But alone or not, you lower your gaze,
Refusing to look at haraam!

O single Muslim!
How sensible are you!
While others waste away their hours watching bollywold flicks,
You spend it worshipping Allah,
Fasting and increasing in ilm!

O single Muslim!
How devoted are you!
While others memorize lyrics to the latest songs,
You make an effort to memorize duaas and Quran!

O single Muslim!
How upright are you!
While others foolishly throw Quran and Sunnah to the side,
You strive to learn and implement them both into your life!

O single Muslim!
How blessed are you!
While others gossip,
And partake in useless matters,
You spend your time reflecting,
And preparing for the herafter!

O single Muslim!
How aware are you!
While others fall for the first person who plays the sweet card,
You know the tricks of shaytan,
And remain constantly on guard!

O Single Muslim!
How steadfast are you!
While others loose their modesty and dignity along the way,
You remain chaste and honorable,
And your sabr only increases each day!

O single Muslim!
How fortunate are you!
While others rack up sins for forming illicit relationships,
You gain reward from Allah for your trials and hardships!

O single Muslim!
How intelligent are you!
While some make marriage their ultimate goal,
You know it's only a means,
To reach the final abode!

O single muslim,
How wise are you!
While others desire spouses,
With only beauty and riches,
You desire an upright person,
With good character and religion!

O single Muslim,
How successful are you!
While others spend their time in grief,
Regretting their foolishness and haste,
For your steadfasteness and patience:
Allah grants you one of His most righteous slaves!

And O single Muslim,
How honored are you!
While others who lived in sin,
Will be humiliated on Qiyamah,
You will be granted honor and shade,
On the Day when there is NO shade,
Except under the throne of ALLAH!

:)
Watch it here.

*Listening to Westlife "Swear it Again"*

Heylo world.
Been a while since i updated.
Only update a few times in 2009.
Guess i was contented in lyfe.
Easily satisfy-able as they say.

Until the day lyfe came crashing down upon me eh?
Haha
Oh well i am slowly moving on as it seems.
I know it hurts and i know ppl say that it will hunt u since its a very long relationship.
Well it is really but trying my best to stay strong for everyone, including her.

It seems she is facing much more problem than i am.
With a face as pretty as that, im sure guys will be swarming around u when they knew u left me.
I wanted to ask what is very wrong with me but i guess maybe its just a message from God that we both deserve someone better than each of us.

I guess i just have to accept the very fact that God wants me to move on.
Frankly i wasnt kidding when i say i am an emokid.
Every single feelings thats in me, i rather prefer to kept it to myself than to pour everything out.
I rather help others around me, including my previous loves, to get on in lyfe first bfore i bothered about myself.

Thats just me it seems. please do not ask why, i just feel better to see ppl smile. In fact i always keep tract of each and everyone of em till now and i do check if they are okae with their lyfes and in fact they are. alhamdulillah.

Hmm thot of sharing the lyrics of this jap song. ( i dun really listen to jap btw)
Rie Fu - Life is like a Boat

Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along
Who's gonna comfort me and keep me strong

We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on comin' and we can't escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves would guide you through another day

Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don't give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come along
I know you would follow me, and keep me strong

And every time I see your face,
The oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
And soon I can see the shore

Oh, I can see the shore
When will I see the shore?

I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I'd feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along
I will follow you, and keep you strong

And every time I see your face,
The oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
And soon I can see the shore

---------------------------------------------
Removed all the jap parts... haha

This is me it seems.

And i thot i was alone this way until....

Came across someone who is just lyk me.

My long lost unidentical twin? haha.

Cant get rid of my previous in my mind but im healing slowly and taking it slow.

Someday ya? Maybe. Hoping so.

Thats it for now.
Peace.

I knew it.

I knew it would take just a short while before u will stop visiting this blog.

It just takes a while before i become the stranger that i was before.

Please dun blame me for running away. I just cant do what i used to do before due to the limitations i have been set upon.

It takes a lot of courage not to run away and leave everything behind.

But instead i hold myself together and stayed and bear all the pain thats within me.

I saw upon a page in one of the social network sites where someone states.
"True love is still true even to the point of letting go"

Hah how true that was. I am forever in dept to you for whatever happened the past "almost 3 years"

Yes i have been quiet lately. Not running away but just being conservative.

Took a hell lot from me to stay strong but with the help from HIM alhamdulillah i persevere :)



I am just not used to being single ah after all this while... And yes despite having freedom and more time to meet my old frens. its still different.

I am sorry if i felt that there is a need to fill up this hole in my heart. Its not because i want to play with any feelings but thats just how i am... Whenever i really do fell in love, it will be forever. For i dun really believe in feelings but more of faith. Feelings dun last forever. But faith and trust do.

And yet now im the stranger :) One that never was.

And yet again now i am just so scared. Twice i was left this way to shatter. And twice i survived but how do i know the third one wun kill me?

Hmm its really hard to say it seems. Ill just lay low and be conservative as always i guess.

PS: Girls dun fall for losers. Period.